Before I was one, my relationship with “Mother” was for the most part evaluative.  What would I do the same?  What would I do differently?  Who did it right?  Who did it wrong?  What was normal?  What was healthy?  My contemplation had that painful immature quality only found in a person pontificating about something they have never actually done.  Ah…the simplicity of ignorance.

Over 7 years ago, more than just my body expanded past any limit I ever thought existed; my first child exited my womb and entered the outside world. It was as if all that was before was no longer and all that would be stood before me anew. Evaluation?  Judgment?  None….I quite simply became Mother.

I have been a mother for over 7 years.  I have lived the torture of the deepest love and of the loneliest moments.  I have pondered my own shortcomings at a pace I thought would break me and I have dared to feel proud.  I have relinquished my desire for perfection and reoriented my definition of order.  I have learned to ask for help and have taken myself to the depths of my strength and stamina.  I am Mother: full body and soul.


I walk this path with so many of you.  We feel our pain together and we share our joys.  We share smiles and groans, tips and chocolate.  We work passionately toward a better world and cry tears of rage at how things got so broken.  Our minds speak words and our bodies share recognition of each other, of our journeys and of our newfound homes in this role of Mother.

It is in all of this that I AM Mother with YOU.   And it is in being Mother with YOU that I find hope.

Thank you, every one of you!

In Oxytocin,


About the author

Community.Relationship.Intimacy.Sex.Birth and so much more. Do you know how to find yourself and the space between you and another? Nekole can help you find your way. One small warning....Nekole has been known to change lives!