Father blog

The role of Father is riddled with pain in my family lineage.  It is not surprising to me that the words to express my celebration of Father’s Day did not come until the wee hours of the morning the following day as I lay in bed working with the latest sensations in my body providing me pathways to healing and freedom.


There have been so many priceless gifts that I have received as a result of my decision not to pursue a medical career and to instead stay home with my children and birth my third child: Embodied Birth.  Amongst these gifts has been the amazing privilege to SEE and be WITH men who everyday help me rewrite the role of Father within myself.  Without even knowing it, each of you helps me and mine to reorder a great deal of confusion and to fall back in love with Father.


I want to tell you some of what I see. I see men who show up every single day.  I see men actively healing themselves so they can show up better.  I see men learning about children.  I see men practicing what they are learning.  I see men willing to be confused by what they are doing and continue to do it anyway.  I see men who allow themselves to be seen as Father.   I see men who feel unseen and who continue to show up anyway.  I see men who celebrate Mother and who are receptive to being celebrated themselves.  I see men working Father.  I see this and so much more and for all of it, I am beyond grateful.


I do believe that I am not alone in this experience.  I was certainly not alone growing up in a community of children being raised by single mothers.  So what I want you to know is this: while each of you does this work you do for you and your families, your actions are having a lasting impact beyond the walls of your home. You are healing the role of Father for so many of us who are still unclear of what the role really means.  YOU are healing the confusion.  YOUR choices and YOUR actions are changing the fibers of society and leading us in a new direction.


So, as I celebrated the Father of my children and the primary man in my life who every day retrains my understanding of the role of Father, know that each of you was with me as well.  Each of you, by who you are and what you do every day, creates what feels to me like an elaborate web of healing that stretches far beyond what any of us could possibly know.  I cannot properly express the pleasure I receive being enveloped by it.  And I am beyond eager to see what the future will bring as a result of its existence.


From one mama to all of you:


Happy Father’s Day!!!

About the author

Community.Relationship.Intimacy.Sex.Birth and so much more. Do you know how to find yourself and the space between you and another? Nekole can help you find your way. One small warning....Nekole has been known to change lives!